The Great 8

Here are my "great 8," eight hard truths that took me forever to learn, but have helped me immensely to realize. I feel like there are a certain few "excuses" we all tend to use a little too frequently. Here's my list of 8 that I have actively fallen guilty to. Using these excuses as crutches, instead of changing my habits and my boundaries with others. I hope you find them helpful :)

"If they wanted to, they would" but they didn't so let it go. This one is a pretty daily occurrence in most 20-year-olds vocabulary. We love sounding empowered by trying to brush certain things that people do to us off and make it seem like we don't care. But instead of letting the facts set in, we just latch on to everything someone didn't do instead of just being done with them. I 100% believe you have not truly let someone go if you continue to bring them up. The minute you don't feel the need to say their name is the minute you can move on peacefully. It's also when they lose the power over you.

"Maybe in another lifetime" but we're in this lifetime. This one for me has either been used for dreams or relationships. It might seem soothing in the moment but it's just a way of your brain recognizing that something won't happen, or that you don't want to put in the effort. The point is, if there's a dream or goal that you want, focus on how to make it happen in this lifetime because I promise you there is a way. Maybe it's about a trip, make a travel fund, and find a way to get there. But, if it's about a relationship or friendship it might just mean that it's not for you. News flash- if it doesn't work in one lifetime, it won't work in another.

"They didn't give me what I deserve" Nobody owes you anything, you owe yourself everything. I know this one sucks, but it's true. As much as we would like to think that people we're in friendships or relationships with should give us what we deserve, they don't owe us anything. But we do owe ourselves everything. I always say "You are the only constant person you can depend on." So instead of dwelling on what someone didn't do for you, focus on how you can do something for yourself. You're the only person that has that obligation. Treat yourself right.

"I'll wait for the perfect time" You will never feel fully ready, make right now the perfect time. It will never feel like the perfect time because the perfect time will never exist. You just have to start and make right now your own "perfect" time. The more steps you take, the more momentum you'll create and then slowly it will feel like the right time. Waiting for you to make a move, chase your dreams, or take a step out of your comfort zone will only ever feel perfect once you've succeeded. Don't wait, just do.

"I feel like I don't have enough time" Well time is limited, but everyone has 24 hours a day. The only part of life that will ever be fair or balanced is that universally everyone is given 24 hours a day. It's what you do with that time that sets you apart from others or steps you in the direction of where you want to go. You will probably never feel like you have enough time, but you will always have 24 hours every day. Choose the best way to use them for you.

"But they tell me they love and miss me" Feelings aren't everything, how they treat you is. Just because someone tells you that they care, or that they love you, or that they're sorry- doesn't mean they are. Pay attention to their actions, and how they treat you. Don't just focus on the words they type and press send on. Words do mean a lot but actions will always speak louder. How someone treats you is everything, and so are the little things.

"This is taking so long" Just because it's taking time, doesn't mean it's not happening. Good things take time. Whenever we think "This is going to take forever" or ask ourselves why something is taking so long it can make us feel defeated or unmotivated. It's important to remind ourselves that just because something is taking longer than we thought it would it can still happen for us.

"I have to be careful around them because if I'm not they'll start an argument" Being with someone should heal you more than it hurts you. You should never feel like you have to walk on eggshells around someone you spend time with, especially not in a romantic relationship. The relationship itself, whether friendly or romantic, should heal you and make you feel safe. If you don't feel safe then leave the relationship. Put yourself first.

Thanks for reading, I'm so happy you're here!